Buy the Book: The Perfection Deception
Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging your relationships, making you sick, and holding your happiness hostage. Have you ever:
- felt like no matter how much you did or how hard you tried, it wasn’t enough?
- compared yourself to others and seemed to come up short?
- set unrealistic, even harmful standards for yourself or others?
- been afraid to start on a project, thinking you didn’t have what it took to do it right?
- missed deadlines, sleep, or meals as you continued to “refine” your work, doing it over and over trying to get it perfect?
- been afraid to make mistakes, admit you didn’t know something, or let people see the real you?
- found yourself nagging your partner, kids, or coworkers—especially over something fairly small or insignificant?
- felt disappointed because you or others didn’t live up to your expectations?
What’s wrong with perfectionism? Everything! Most people mistakenly confuse perfectionism with a healthy striving for excellence—but there is a big difference. One can lead to great achievement—or at least great learning—by allowing us to take risks, make mistakes, and forge ahead anyway. The other is a psychological wound that invites constant comparison with others, and traps us with all- or-nothing thinking that can paralyze us in a cycle of indecision, fear, and self-loathing. This eye-opening book shows us the truth about perfectionism with clear, easily readable text that:
- explains how perfectionism grows from a desire to create feelings of safety, belonging, and worth, and from the belief that if we are “perfect” no one will criticize, hurt, or reject us.
- exposes perfectionism as the inner critic that labels us a failure or a fraud, regardless of our efforts, progress, or success.
- shows how perfectionism is an unattainable pursuit that can hurt us physically and psychologically, get in the way of achievement and advancement, and damage relationships and alienate others.
- identifies how perfectionism prevents us from saying “no” to others’ demands and keeps us too busy to pursue our own dreams and goals.
Over the years, Dr. Bluestein has seen the toxic and corrosive effects of perfectionism on people’s thinking, their bodies, their relationships, their work, and their sense of worth. She emphatically shows that perfectionism is not a good thing and that it’s not remotely the same as doing our best. Through personal interviews and the latest research, Dr. Bluestein explores how perfectionism develops, how our culture fuels the dysfunction, and how it can hurt our physical, mental, and social well-being. Further, she provides practical strategies for moving toward authenticity and wholeness to live with confidence, self-fulfillment, and happiness. Topics include attachment, authenticity, bodily harm, body dysmorphia, compensation, culture, eating disorders, emotional safety, health, healthy striving for excellence, image, inner critic, mental, mental health, motivation, overcommitment, perfectionism, physical health, relationships, self-acceptance, self-care, suicide.
The Perfection Deception: Why trying to be perfect is sabotaging your relationships, making you sick, and holding your happiness hostage. Where perfectionism comes from, what it looks like, and how we can loosen its grip on our lives. 5 1/2′′ x 8 1/2′′, 300 pages. Order this book online! (Ask for an autograph. It’s free!) Price: $15.95 (Also available from Amazon at a discounted price. See below for both options.)
Click here to see the Starred Review in the Library Journal.