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The Problem with Perfect

A long list of negative outcomes that can be associated with perfectionism, just in case you were thinking that perfectionism is a good thing. (It’s not!) Negative outcomes that can be associated with perfectionism:  • Internalized beliefs and identity built on feedback and messages about who we are and who we should be (reality distortion). […]

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Getting Real, Getting Well

Here’s fairly extensive list of considerations and potential healing strategies to help keep perfectionism from running our lives. Let’s keep adding to it. Suggestions welcome! I guess I’m a bit suspicious about the idea that a perfectionist can just stop being one. I applaud anyone who’s managed to pull that off, but for me, the process is […]

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Who is at Risk for Perfectionism?

Are perfectionists born that way? What are some of the risk factors that have the greatest impact on people developing perfectionistic tendencies. Born that way? “…in every resource where inborn factors were mentioned, there was also an acknowledgement of the impact of environment and experiences in and outside of the home. Nowhere was there a […]

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Cultural Traditions that can Contribute to Perfectionism (and other bad stuff)

Destructive traditions like impression management, scarcity thinking, and oversimplification, that create an environment in which perfectionism can thrive—along with healthier alternatives. Compare harmful (familiar) patterns with their healthier alternatives. Impression Management Pressure to look good; people pleasing; shape-shifting to get others’ approval; cover up mistakes (shame). Healthy Alternative: Authenticity Safety to be self; tolerance for […]

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Healthy vs. Unhealthy Friendships

Do you have friends who leave you feeling happy and uplifted? Or do you feel drained, agitated, angry, or resentful when you’ve spent time with certain people? Use the following list to compare and evaluates the friendships you have in your life: Healthy friendships are not one-sided. Both people benefit from knowing each other. In […]

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Continuum of Effort and Commitment

Look at the range—from indifference to mastery—and see where you or your children (or students) fall along the continuum. Also consider where you fall for certain tasks. Mastery Competent. Likely to be striving for continual growth in that area or related areas, OR ready to move on to the next challenge Sticking with it Efforts to complete […]

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Legal and Karmic Stuff

Using the Material that Appears on this Site In creating this web site, it was my hope and intention to provide helpful and inspiring information in many forms and to as many people as possible. In addition to letting visitors know about The Perfection Deception and the training programs this book has inspired, I wanted to […]

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Interview Questions: The Perfection Deception

The following questions about The Perfection Deception have been provided to help guide your interview. Please feel free to ask any questions the book or topic inspires. In a live interview, Dr. Bluestein’s responses may not match the answers provided below. 1. At the beginning of the book you mention that you had several people asking you, […]

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